Hetaoni 2: the enigma of Steve
by Macau
Summary: Time has ordered China to take along a few extinct nations, go to a certain haunted house, and investigate a strange time loop. Steve comes and attempts to kill/capture/stop them. Weirdness ensues. Plot: Hetaoni Characters: OC(not hetalia) Universe: FtG
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 the mission

Madame time absolutely owed them a big one.

It all starts when there's a break in the timeline and she starts fussing again. This time however, it was not a break, but a loop, that set her off, and the cause was a mysterious gray monster otherwise known as Steve. And the agent this time was a large , busty nation otherwise known as... China.

" Ms., what I do know is this is probably very important to you, but why me? Why not send your zaetgeschlager instead?" she had asked

Time's reply, curt and chilling, was," Steve has killed nations before. He would tear my zaetgeschlager to shreds in seconds."

"oh. Wait! Why me? "

" you have become immortal , no?"

" In a way, I might have become a Demi-god..."

" Exactly. Now there are other nations I want you to take too, so hurry along!" she then gave her a list and disappeared.

China took a look at it.

" A map of all the underworlds. WTF?"


	2. Chapter 2: weirdness ensues

Chapter 2

" Ok, so we've got Maya, Axum, Inca, Arabia... Hey! Where did Prussia go!?"

She turned around and saw the iron kingdom attempting to escape through the window. Luckily, China was fast and grabbed her in time.

" And where do you think you're going ?"she demanded. Prussia scurried back, with her head down, quite ashamed at her " break in discipline".

"Mm. That's better."

The other nations were looking at her, bewildered.

She cleared her throat. " I know you're all very confused and wondering 'who's this guai ayi'but we need to get to serious business! The goddess of Time has asked us to fix a time loop in a house. Apparently there is a monster wreaking havoc and Time has chosen you nations to help stop it. I do not know ?"

Inca raised his hand.

"Yes?"

" Why should we listen to you?Who the hell are you!? Why am I with people I don't know?! Where is here? Why can't I quit this mission? What-"

"- Uh uh uh. I know you're confused and stuff, so I'll just give a simple intro of what's happening..."

5 hours later...

At 8:00 P.M Everybody except China was snoring.

"Hey! Hey!" she hissed.

Arabia opened one eye.

" But I was dreaming of candy..."

"Candy rots your teeth. Did you listen to anything I said?!"

"Er... Somethin' about time, space, history, nations getting killed, etc."

"Ugh, you people are not good listeners. Never mind, we need to get to that house."

After a hard time dragging 5 sleepy nations out the door, she lead them to the rendez vous Time had assigned. A bearded Persian man was waiting for them. "Ah, you're here Nadir Shah. Good. You can help me gat these lazy bugs to the house, please." Nadir Shah nodded and replied," Yes ma'am. However, you should really speak less rudely next time." Upon saying this, he commanded:"Kolah, take us to the house" His hat glowed and they teleported to the house.

"Holy sh*t! A time travelling hat!" yelled Axum.

" How did he do that?" asked Maya. She seemed eager to duplicate it.

" Simple," China explained," Time hired Shah as an agent, meaning she granted him the ability to use his hat to time travel."

"So... what do we do now?" asked Arabia," Do we go in now?" He was looking nervously at the large, white, house that loomed before them. " Nah," China said."It's safer in the day. Let's just get a good look at the outside for now."

They walked around the house, scanning the surroundings and getting a good look on the outside."Hmmmm. Not too bad. A mansion fit for a shiek," Arabia remarked. " Looks normal to me," Maya said,"though adobe would be a better style. It's strange though, the house is really big, but it's more like a fortress than a home for rich people..." China noticed too. The house was as huge as a mansion, but it looked more like a fort than a home for the elite. "Cheh," Axum remarked," doesn't look that scary, right Inca?" Inca was busy knotting a rope and didn't listen.

No body heard Prussia, who saw a gray shape flit past a window, gasp.


	3. Chapter 3:enter steve

Chapter 3: Enter Steve

Arabia was dreaming of candy again when he felt a sudden yank on his arm.

" Dude, wake up, we're going in now."

He sleepily opened one eye, and mumbled:"But I want to sleep some more..."

"Come on! Are you the warrior or the wimp!?"

"Okay, okay, I will get up."

He jumped out of the sleeping bag that kolah supplied them with.

The others were already up, due to the nagging of China, of course.

" Alright, first things first. We are going to go in now. Remember, ALWAYS stick together NO MATTER WHAT." She instructed.

Maya looked like she had a question.

"Yes?"

" Why? Splitting up would make it harder for us to be all killed at once."

" Good point, but whenever people split up in a horror movie they are bound to die."

"You mean in those meaningless entertainment you modern nations watch when you could be engaging in intellectual activity instead?"

"Yes. I do not prefer to take risks. Any more questions?"

Axum raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"I think I could take Steve on myself."

"Don't. Arrogance of power will be the end of you. Anymore?"

The others were silent.

" okay. Let's go."

They walked up the hill and arrived at the door. Gingerly, Maya tried to open it. It was to heavy, so China and Axum had to help her. When it did open, they saw the inside. It looked pretty normal. Everybody then went inside. Well, except Prussia.

" Prussia, come on! Don't just stand there!" China beckoned.

Prussia looked at the house and paced back and forth in front of it. She does not like the house very much, China thought, she's afraid of it, she knows something horrible's inside. Smart. " Come on," China said, as she tried to look reassuring," There's nothing bad, I promise. It's totally safe if we stick together."

Prussia did NOT look convinced. She shook her head.

So this is the so-called 'Soldier nation', China thought.

" It's Ok. If there is something bad in there, I promise we'll come out right away. Besides, you're pretty fast. You could escape on no time."

Reluctantly,the wary nation began walking towards the door. China thought she could actually see fear on the stony face.

* * *

"Hmmm. I always wondered where those bastard white men lived," Inca remarked, "but this dwelling does seem a bit empty." He bent down to brush some dust off of a couch. Apparently, some dust went up his nose. "Achoo!" he sneezed.

Meanwhile, Axum spotted a bloodstained clock on the mantel. "Hey, check this out," he said. China walked over. " Strange, it only has six hours," she remarked. Well Ms. Time did say it was a time loop, she thought. "What do you think did it?" he asked.

Maya came over and studied the clock. " According to the consistency, viscosity, color , pattern, and my past experience with blood I'd say-'

Clang!

"What was- "

Shatter!

" Sounded like clay shattering", Inca remarked.

China's face got pale and sweaty. Still, she said," Come on guys. Let's- let's go and see what's going on." "Uh, China, are you sick? I have some medicine…" Arabia suggested.

"No, it's okay. Let's just go…" she muttered, obviously trying to hide her fear. " Just s-stick together, and we'll be fine."

When they got there, they found the noise was a broken plate.

" Ah, it's just a plate. Must've been broken by a rat or something", Arabia said, slightly relieved. Still, Axum remained careful and got out his spear. " What's a rat?" Maya asked. "They are the dirty little companions of that Spaniard," Inca growled, " Terrible creatures." He shuddered at the thought.

Prussia spotted China, who was staring at the plate, not moving. She tapped her shoulder, as if to say, are you okay?

China must've gotten the hint because she literally exploded.

"OF COURSE I'M NOT OK! THAT PLATE WAS 10000 YUAN WORTH OF PURE100% HAND- PAINTED CHINA! IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON THAT M&amp;*(97KER I'LL TEAR HIM TO PIECES!" she roared.

Other nations:"….."

Suddenly, the others shrank back in fear.

" Oh, was I scary? Sorry about that. I'm a little quick-tempered." She apologized.

Then, she noticed her shadow somehow seemed really big. And she realized why.

" Steve's behind me, isn't he."

The others nodded slowly.

"Cao."


	4. Chapter 4

div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"Chapter 4: 100 ways to fight an alien/div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;" /div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;" Steve loomed in on them./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"" gulp! Errr... Hello mr. Steve..." China stammered, " Did I just call you a m #^ker? What I really mean-"/div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;" /div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"" What do we do now!?", Axum whispered./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"" Ok, everyone. I suggest we keep a defensive stance and don't attack until he attacks," Arabia said./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"" Good strategy", Maya complimented./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"They bundled up into a small ring formation./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;" /div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"1 hour later.../div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"Steve still hadn't moved. "I'm sooo tired..." Maya said," the lactic acid's eating my bones..." Then she sat down./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;""No! Maya don't-"/div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"Steve saw his chance and, with a a swipe of his hand/claw/ appendage sent blood spilling all over./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;""-show any weakness.." Arabia groaned./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"Luckily, the "blood" that Steve spilled was tomato juice. Apparently Maya had a tomato in her pocket./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"" Should we attack now?" She asked?/div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"" hell yeah-"/div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"He broke off when Steve threw him against a wall./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"" Hey! Take this you wang ba dan!"/div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"China hurled a fireball at him, and Steve just barely deflected it. " Everyone! Get down!" She shouted. Then she blasted a huge jet of fire at him, which was so hot it burned the walls. Well, Steve was relatively unfazed by the hit./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"But not before Axum put a dagger in his back. And a spear through his head. And cut his limbs off with a sword./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"And to finish it off, Prussia shot him with her rifle. /div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"Steve was still alive. But pissed off. He took the dagger out and threw it back, and it snagged into Axum's arm./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"" Axum! You Okay!?" May asked, startled./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"" yeah. Just a little cut. I... Get these... A lot..." And then he fell down./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"Arabia was still unconscious./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"Prussia ran up to Steve and shot him multiple times. However,the lead did not seem to bother him at ALL and he sent her flying into Arabia. "Oof!" He exclaimed as he was awakened by the hit./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"Prussia kept charging at Steve./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"" Did- did I miss anything?" He asked. "Arabia! We need your help to help us fight Steve!" Inca yelled. " Say no more! I've got this covered!" He replied./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"He took out his sword, charged, and with a few strokes, cut Steve to pieces./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"However,Something horrible happened. The pieces began writhing and stretching into blobby , after a few minutes an army of grays were standing before them./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;""Cao." China cursed./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;""Err... Any battle strategies , anyone?" Arabia asked./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;""Sorry, but I prefer guerrilla warfare, so no," Inca answered./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"Prussia raised 3 fingers and made a wedge shape with her hands. Then she imitated cutting scissors./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;""Oh, she wants us split into three groups and attack the enemy in a wedge- shaped formation, scatter them, and then slaughter them," Maya explained./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;""Hmm. That's actually a really good idea.." Axum, who was conscious again,remarked./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"2 hours later.../div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;""This was a horrible idea!" Axum shouted. The grays simply could not be defeated because they were unkillable. And even worse, they were actually overwhelming them. When they saw that the nations were tired, the grays bundled together and turned into flowing sludge to finish them. Now,it looked like the walls were oozing with sludge./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"Bam! Arabia was the first to be hit. He doubled over. China, who dodged the flow, grabbed his collar and dragged him away, only to get trapped against a wall. Cao, a dead end, she thought. Half holding onto him, she kicked and hit the wall, trying to make a hole in which they could escape. As the deluge of sludge flowed closer and closer, she was sure they were going to die. "Ma de! Come on wall! Break! Break!" She shouted. Arabia, who was still in pain, struggled to talk. "China... China-argh- a... Door... Ow!" He said. China looked. There really was a door in front of them./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"" Wait... Wasn't that door not there a minute ago?" She asked herself./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"The sludge was a foot behind them. /div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;""No time. We have ... To open it... Or die!" He shouted./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"The sludge was 5 inches behind them./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"What if there's something horrible in there !? She thought, this doesn't seem right./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"The sludge was 3 inches behind them/div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;""China!" He shouted again./div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"2 inches /div  
div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 28px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"" Madegebi" she cursed and turned the knob. The door opened, and she dragged her fellow nation inside, and then locked it./div 


	5. Chapter 5

Hetaoni Chapter 6

The cellar was way too damp and musty. Maya thought that mushrooms would grow on her ears due to the humidity. " Er… Axum, do you know… how long this tunnel is?" she asked. The taller nation grunted a "No." Maya sighed.

_I should never have run off with a __**Christian**__, _she thought, _and a grumpy one at that._

Flashback

"Axum! Stop! You can't keep fighting with one arm! If you struggle more the blood flow will tire you out!" She screamed," Try to calm down and think this situation through!" Of Course, Axum did not listen. He was too stubborn and writhed even harder in the sludge. However, the harder he struggled, the tighter it became.

_He reminds me of a jaguar that I saw get stuck in a mudhole_, she thought,_ the harder it struggled, the more it sank._ However, there was no more time for these thoughts. Maya had to get out before they both drowned. _Think! Think! There must be some way I can lubricate myself so the sludge will have a harder surface to grip. Wait- is that a flask of lotion in my dress? Ah-hah!_ She took the lotion and spread it around on her body. It worked. The sludge lost its grip on her and she fell on the ground._ Ow! Wait! What's this!? A cellar door? Did it appear just now?_ She then set to work. Maya sprinted over to Axum and grabbed him. Then she pulled him out with all her might. Then she dragged him over to the cellar door and tried to open it. _Oof! This thing is heavy! Pull Maya, Pull! Argh!_ Unfortunately, the door was too heavy for her, even if she tried with all her strength. Which was bad, as the sludge was looming over them. Finally, Axum got up to help her and they tumbled into the cellar. The door closed behind them.

*End of flashback

However, strangely, after it closed, the door wouldn't budge. Not one bit. And that was why they were forced to walk through a damp, musty tunnel looking for a new exit. Maya managed to bandage Axum's wound, but he still was a little woozy from the blood loss. _Which just sucks, considering __**he's**__ the muscle,_ she thought.

" Do_ you_ know where we're going?" he asked. She sniffed. " No."

" You don't seem to like me very much"

" You Christians are idiots. What were you guys thinking!? Destroying 200 years' worth of scientific research and mathematical genius!?" She growled, remembering those mean missionaries she sacrificed to Quetzalcoatl in revenge.

" That wasn't me. They were Catholic. I was a Coptic. There is a difference." He replied curtly.

" Hmmph" she huffed. Coptic or Catholic, they were all Christian, and all Christians were idiots.

"Although….those Catholics are quite pig headed," he admitted.

_What!? Even this guy makes fun of his own kind!?Hmm…Maybe he's not that bad…_

They continued to walk. The cellars seemed to stretch for eternity. Cobwebs and an occasional bone filled the passageway.

Maya wasn't very accustomed to silence. She was more used to the freaked- out screams of victims at the altar. Or the laughter of Mixcotl. Where was Mixcotl now? Was she Okay? She then looked at her acquaintance. Did he have kids too? Did he miss them like she missed Mixcotl?

"Hey."

He looked at her.

"Did-did you have children?"

" Two." His expression turned a bit sad.

" Oh. I had one. Her name was Mixcotl. What were yours names?"

" Ethiopia and Eritrea."

_Pretty names,_ she thought. Then she took a deep breath. " Do you miss them?" she asked.

He turned away and growled, " That's none of your business." Then he kept walking.

Maya followed him. They walked down the corridor in silence. Then he stopped.

" What?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Eh?"

" I said 'yes', so shut your mouth." He fumed and blushed. Maya nearly giggled- his face was as red as a tomato. _He was embarassed._ " I bet you were a good daddy ," she teased. Axum turned redder, looked away, and swore.

And the shadow behind them swayed violently.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5: Stalker

* **Warning: Smoking is seriously bad for your health and can cause lung disease, bad teeth and skin disease**

_This hallway sure is longer than it looks, _thought Inca as he dropped another bit of quipu on the ground. _According to my calculations, we should be at the end of the house by now, but why aren't we? _This question made him quite uncomfortable, and he took out another cigarette.

*Flashback

The sludge was suffocating him. It wrapped itself around his nose and mouth. "Mmmph! Mm mph!" He cried as he writhed and twisted, trying to escape. _I'm dead,_ he thought_I'll be Ret Gone. That woman's run away. She wouldn't save me for the world, I bet... Ok, no down, calm down. Try to _relax. He loosened his muscles and tried to conserve his _energy. Ok, calm down... Try to think your way out... Maybe... Maybe I can play dead and it'll let go, or- hey, why is it suddenly so hot_? The next thing he new, the slime shrank away from his face and he could breathe again, and in front of his face was Prussia's flintlock. He backed away a little, as they were still trapped by the flowing sludge. Suddenly, as if by magic, a corridor opened behind them and he grabbed her hand , and without thinking, ran through the corridor to escape Steve.

End of flashback.

Prussia looked at him smoking and pointed at the cigarette. " Oh yeah, I got these from China's house," he answered," still, it's not better than coca plant." He looked back.

I do not like white people, but at least this one is quieter than the Spaniard, he thought. Where is the monster? Does he know...

At the end of the corridor was a door... A heavy metal one. Inca pushed hard and opened it.

Inside was a small, beautiful garden. It was a courtyard! There were roses, and daisies, and daffodils and a small fountain shaped like a swan. And one wall was covered by ivy. However, despite the flowers and sunshine, Inca was still suspicious about this place. "Wait here", he told his companion. What's that smell... Where have I encountered that smell before... That smell on... A battlefield... He spotted in flowerbeds and observed them. The smell's coming from there... He crouched down.

A severed arm stared back at him.

"Holy Inti!" He ran back and grabbed Prussia. This wasn't a garden.

It was a killing ground.

"Quick! Quick! Open up!" He muttered. The door was still shut, no matter how hard he tried to open it. Sweat poured from his head.

Why won't it open!?

The sunlight that filtered in was dwindling, and they needed to get away from whatever mangled those bodies.

Prussia, clearly frustrated, pushed him aside and began ramming the door.

" Or that could work." Inca remarked.

2 hours later...

She was still ramming the door and started to bleed from her head . However, the door still remained intact. Seeing this, Inca grabbed her arm. She shot a puzzled look at him. " It won't work. Besides, you're hurting yourself," he said. In response, Prussia lunged at the door one more time. Luckily, Inca barely managed to restrain her.

_Whew! This woman's quite strong!_ He thought.

" Look, it's not going to work if we use force against force. Sometimes you have to think the problem through."

She looked suspiciously at him, like she was making sure he was a Native American.

_Oh great. She's just like the other white men. Thinks her race is better than ours. It'll be ages before she decides to cooperate with some 'lowly barbarian' like me._

"Look, I know you think I can't be smart because I'm a Native American, but that does NOT mean I'm an uneducated savage." He shot back.

She still looked doubtful.

Inca sighed." Look," he repeated, " you're gonna have to shake off old prejudices if we're gonna get out."

She stared at him again, but this time with interest.

_Good, she's listening. Now for the plan_...

He observed their surroundings. On one wall was the door that couldn't be opened. The other two were covered with thorny roses briars. The last one had ivy on it. Inca was lucky he had plenty of experience climbing the steep Andes.

_I could scale it if Prussia gave me a boost... And we could maybe escape..._

" Hey Prussia."He called.

"..."

"If you could give me a boost, then I could maybe climb the ivy and climb out. Then I could grab you and pull you out."

"..."

"So?"

"Ja."

" what's that?"

" Ja. Yes."

"Ok. Let's do this."

They went over to the wall and she put her hands together. Then he put one foot on them and she boosted him up. Inca grabbed the ledge of the wall and pulled himself up.

It was already sunset.

Inca was on the roof. He could see that the house wasn't so big after all.

He reached down with his arm and Prussia took it. Then he began pulling her up.

The vines rustled.

_Alright, only one more foot to go and we're out_...

The ivy quavered.

" Don't worry, we'll be out-"he assured

SNAP! A vine grabbed her leg and began pulling them down.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

"But foouurrth~"

"I said no!" Time glared at the blonde girl.

"I just wanna seeeee~"the girl whined.

" No! You are NOT going into that house! I don't even know how powerful Steve is. It's too risky."

" Hmmph! Why are you so unfun!?" Eigenpower pouted and stormed out of the room

_Well that's gotten rid of he_r, Time thought.

Then a thought suddenly occurred to her.

" Holy horrible histories!" She ran outside to find her sister running while wearing a zombie hunter outfit and carrying a bright yellow backpack labeled " Monster hunting kit".

"Eigenpower! You get back here THIS INSTANT!" She barked.

Eigenpower looked at her big sister and shouted back: "Don't you dare limit meeee!"

And with that she disappeared in a yellow flash of light.

Time sighed and called on her cellphone.

" Operator ... Yes... Mmm... Please get me Frederich Hohenzollern on the line... No, not Hohenburg, Hohenzollern ... No! Not A hen's learned! Hohenzollern, godammit! ... Uh-huh... Mmm... Yes, that's him... Good. Thank you."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:Gimme some al-zukkar

"China hakim, how long do you think this house is?" Arabia asked.

China looked back at him. "On the outside it looks like twice a sheik's tent. But the horse dies of exhaustion while running to the mountain it sees, it seems."

"China hakim is so wise!" He chimed back. Then he his expression turned grave. "So you are saying we will die before we get out."

"No, but that guy adds to my thesis," she replied and urged him to walk faster. There was a shadow behind them.

Arabia shuddered. "I know."

"Huh?"

"I know," he muttered,"Everytime we stop to rest I can hear him. At first I thought he was a rat. Then I thought to myself, Arabia, that must be quite a large rat. As large as a dog, at least..." He broke off.

China looked behind them warily." And then?" She asked.

"And then, I remembered where I heard about a big rat like that. In the storybook you gave me-"

"The Collection of Horror Tales of the Tang."

"-yes. The rat, it could kill a leopard..."

China smiled faintly. " You read it after all," she said. Arabia blushed and turned his head away. "All for knowledge," he answered.

The shadow slowed down a little as the two nations came to another door. "Open it?" Arabia suggested. China hesitated. The first door they went to (see chapter 4) would not open, no matter how hard they tried. If they opened this door, what if they got trapped inside?

"How about just a little look?" Arabia asked.

"I guess a little look won't hurt, but be prepared if something jumps out." She assumed a fighting stance and pushed open the door...

And there was nothing inside; it was all dark and dusty.

"Well, there's nothing inside so-"

"ARGH!" Arabia yelled and bumped into her, sending the two tumbling into the room, and making the door slam behind them.

"WO CAO! WHAT THE #%^€$&amp; WERE YOU THINKING!?" China yelled," Now we're trapped!"

"Sorry. The shadow leaped at me, so I was ." Arabia apologized.

"Ugh. Now how are we going to get out?"

"We could always dig... Phew! It stinks of alcohol! I hate alcohol!"

She scratched the floor.

"Nope, it's linoleum. Impossible. I'm going to see the surroundings."

She lit a small flame in the palm of her hand. The flame illuminated a chair... Then a cobweb... And some antiques...

"Looks like a storage area", Arabia remarked,"and according to the dust, the stuff must have sit here for decades..."

The light revealed some dolls... Plates...a clock...and...

A giant alien head.

Wait a minute! A giant alien head?

And it seemed angry.

China broke out in cold sweat. "Er...Arabia..."

"Yes. I see we have a problem here," he shuddered.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 Aaaand... We have a cliffhanger

"Argh!" Yelled Inca as he was assaulted by what appeared to be a vampire werewolf mummy. The creature grabbed his ankle with its claws and began dragging him towards its hideous, toothed mouth. Inca struggled as hard as he could. However, being five foot nine and weighing 56 pounds didn't really help.

Desperate, he grabbed his dagger and threw it at the monster's eye.

The dagger lodged in perfectly, and the vampire werewolf mummy was soon neutralized.

_Holy Inti, I've got to find some cover , _he thought. Quickly, he raced towards a garden bench and dove behind it. Prussia saw this and ran to join him. The vampire werewolf mummies were closing in on them. They had disguised themselves as Ivy and when the time was right, attacked the duo.

"All right, Stone face, looks like we have to fight a siege war," Inca took out his trusty sling and some rocks. Prussia raised her rifle and aimed at their attackers.

Bam! The first rock hit one straight in the nose. However, the blow was not fatal, and the monster charged, enraged. A second stone hit it on the head and knocked it out. Prussia shot two down with her bullets, and Inca managed to subdue another one with his stones.

3 minutes later...

Soon, there were only three left. And they were mad.

Inca reached for another stone. Unfortunately, there was no more ammunition. "Uh, Stone face, do you have anymore fire?" He asked. Prussia shook her head. _Llama shit_, he thought. Nervously, he felt in his pockets for any weapons he could use. The only thing he could find that had damage potential was... A bottle of chicha beer.

Thinking no more, he threw the beer at the enemy.

Crack! The bottle shattered and a terrible smell filled the room. The three vampire werewolf mummies jumped back at the reeking beer. They began choking and their eyes watering.

Things were NOT better for Inca and Prussia. The smell was so strong that Prussia began hallucinating. Luckily, Inca was used to it, since he drank the beer often.

He scanned the surroundings and spotted a knob at the base of the swan fountain. _That must be a trapdoor of some sort_, he pondered. "Hey Stone face! there's a trapdoor we can escape through! That way-" he turned around, only to find a bayonet pointed squarely at his face. "Die, Hitler,"Prussia growled. Her eyes turned bloodthirsty.

Apparently, she was hallucinating at bit _too_

much

_"_Llama shit."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 answer to violence

"Ugh. Does this thing ever end?" Grumbled Maya. Even she lost her patience. "Well then, maybe we should stop for a while," suggested Axum. He went over and sat by the wall. Maya came and sat by him. "Good. Then we can assess the situation, then. So we're in a secret tunnel that never seems to end and a killer extraterrestrial is after us. There are two ways to handle this. Either we keep walking and try to keep him from catching up, or we confront him and kill him..." She stopped talking to catch her breath. "...There are advantages to both decisions, so which do you prefer?"

Axum looked long and hard at her, bewildered. Never had he ever met a nation who could talk so fast. Well, except Kush, maybe. That blabber mouth.

That reminded him.

"Well, I will tell you a story," he answered.

Maya glared impatiently at him. "Make it quick! We're running out of time!" She snapped.

"I had a neighbor named Kush. We were economic rivals. We both wanted the trade routes to the Red Sea to be ours which brought in many riches. For many many years we lived in an uneasy peace. But I wanted the routes for myself because I had less resources than he did."

"So... What did you do? "

"So I killed him. And got the trade routes."

"So... The moral is... If you meet a stronger enemy violence is always the answer?"

"Pretty much. Except Kush was a big softie and this alien is not." He grunted. "However, fighting him is MUCH less tiresome than keeping on walking, don't you think?"

Maya had to agree. Besides, she was thirsty for more sacrifice victims.

Clomp, clomp

"It's him, I guess," she said.

Clomp, Clomp

The sound came closer.

However, not Steve, but a blob like alien was in front of them.

"YOu ShALl bE mY DinneR." It said.

"Come at me bro," Axum growled. His eyes were smoldering.

And the alien lunged at them.

Dodging to the side, Axum grabbed his spear and struck with it. The alien grabbed the weapon and threw it and its owner back.

"Axum!" Maya yelled. She ran to check him. Luckily, he landed on his feet.

"Oh, that does it! You know what, Mr. Alien!? My gods are counting on ME to bring them blood and I NEVER let them down!" Upon saying this, two thorn studded ropes whipped out from inside her sleeves and dug into the enemy like grappling hooks. Maya tugged the ropes, and soon enough, blood was spattered all over the place. The alien tried to get away, but the more it struggled, the more it bled, and it finally bled to death.

"Yes! Yes! Bleed! Muhahaha!" She laughed with a yandere face.

Axum stood there, stunned. Up until now, he had absolutely no idea that this woman could fight, let alone kill.

Clomp, Clomp,

"Hey, there's another one!" Maya said," I can hear it!"

Clomp, clomp

And In front of them stood another one. Only this one was much bigger. And it had knives for hands.

"Holy Quetzalcoatl! It's hands look like Machetes..."

"That's because they are machetes!"

"Oh. Well this is certainly a fine, fine situation."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 fainting spell

Steve's fist hit Arabia's head with a sickening thud, and he was knocked out. "Wo kao, not again!" China shouted. She then punched Steve.

"Taste my fist of communism!"

Steve, sensing this, blocked the blow and threw her at a wall.

"You gotta be tougher than that, 2b," China snarled. She sent a rock wall charging at the alien. Steve was hit and went flying into the ceiling, and his head went through. China went to observe Arabia. He was still unconscious. She then proceeded to strike him in the acupuncture points.

"Ow!" He was awake with a jolt,"what happened!? Did he hurt anyone!? Does anyone need a medic!?"

"Cut it. Arabia, I need you to get out of your nurse mode and into your soldier mode. Let's end this bastard."

"With pleasure. I haven't fought in quite a long time," he replied. Arabia got out his sword and charged at the trapped Steve with full force.

"ALLAHU AKBAR !"

Unfortunately, at this moment, Steve managed to get his head lodged out of the roof. When he saw the blade coming at him, he grabbed it. However, this time, Arabia spun around and dislodged it from Steve's appendage/hand/claw.

The two began staring each other down.

"Let me tell you, and tell you only once: No one messes with the Arab empire," he growled.

"Except the Mongols," China whispered.

"China Hakim! Why are you so mean~"

"It's not like _this guy's_ a Mongol"

"True."

"SToP tHiS GiBBeRisH!" Steve yelled,"i ShaLl dEStroY yOu NoW!" He charged towards Arabia and attempted to hit him again. Arabia blocked the blow with his HAND. "Just because I squeezed at least nine nations out of my hips DOES NOT MEAN I'M HELPLESS!"

He grabbed Steve's fist and threw him towards the ground. Steve got up and attacked with his claws. Arabia grabbed his sword and blocked the blows. "Take this!" He spun around and hacked Steve's claw off. Enraged, Steve struck Arabia with another claw and sent him falling. Luckily, Arabia landed on his feet and began fighting again. All China could see was a gray whirlwind of claws and a white whirlwind swirling around each other. The two fighters were just so fast.

Steve's fist slammed down on Arabia. again. Steve was bleeding from his appendage and a few of his claws were cut off. Arabia blocked the blow with his sword, but was quickly losing energy. He was also bleeding from his arm and a bit bruised.

Meanwhile, China, being China, watched from the side.

"Come on, you can do this yourself, boy," she chided.

_Arrrgh_! Arabia thought. The weight of Steve's fist was crushing him.

_By Allah! This demon is about to crush me! What do I do!? Hold until I die? No, that's foolish. Run? No, too cowardly. Damn! I'm going to die and all I have is this tiny dagger to defend myself-wait a minute! _He freed one of his hands and felt around his belt for the stealth weapon. Ah-hah!

Steve nearly pushed him to the floor. "YOu wiLl maKe A NiCE meaT PaTtY," Steve said. Arabia struggled to resist the push. "Arrgh, now I should t-tell you again," he struggled to even talk," never Mess with the ARAB EMPIRE!"

He then threw the dagger at Steve's head. It lodged in perfectly, and Steve fell backwards.

"CuRsE yoU DamN nAtiOn!"

Arabia walked towards China. "Why wouldn't you help me?" He asked

"I thought you could handle him yourself. You're a strong young mistake in seeing that."

"Oh, well that _is_ a logical explanation," Arabia answered.

China looked around for an exit. " I'm going to retrieve my dagger," Arabia told her.

"Okay, fine." She replied.

He went over Steve and looked closely. The dagger was stuck in a clump of grey mass. Arabia inched cautiously towards Steve's head and observed his signs to make sure he was dead.

Unfortunately, Steve wasn't .

"China-China h-hakim" a shaky voice called.

China turned around and found her partner impaled on Steve's arm.

"A-Arabia, what-" she stammered," can.. Can you ... Hear me?"

"Y-yes."

She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hold on." She walked towards Steve and said," hey, put him down. Now. You can have me instead, but put him down please."

Steve was suspicious, but put Arabia down anyway.

China immediately waved her hand over the ground. A small geyser of mud flowed out. China took it and wiped it over Arabia's wound, sealing it.

"This will keep you alive. Stay here," she told him. Then she faced Steve. "Well, you can have me," she said.

"VeRY welL"

With a sweep of a claw he grabbed her by the throat and picked her up.

"DiE"

Steve squeezed her throat with suffocating force. After a few minutes, China stopped moving.

"StUpid NatIOn"

He then engulfed her.

However, all he felt in his mouth was a pile of rock.

"Stupid nation, huh?"

Steve turned around.

"Chi attack!" A ball of chi energy collided into Steve and knocked him into a wall.

Steve looked up from the rubble. China, with a ball of chi in her hand, walked towards him. "If you've read your world history," she growled," you'd find out that You're messing with the chick that kicked Mongolia and America's asses!"China's body glowed and she transformed into a huge red dragon with golden horns and a black crest.

"So... Prepare... To ... DIE!" A blinding white light shot from her mouth sped towards Steve and an enormous, epic explosion occurred.

"NooOooOooo!"


	12. Oh, Erasmus Desiderius, you are too fun

Commercial break

Emily and Euler ran into a dark storage room and locked the door behind them.

"Whew! That crazy girl won't find us in here, I bet,"said Euler," I wonder what she was up to, chasing us and screamin' "Emler"and all that."

"True," answered Emily Dickinson," after all, behavior is what a person does, not what she thinks or says."

"Well, at least that rabid doll won't find us in here."

"Quite right."

"Hey Leo! Need help?" Erasmus called behind them.

Euler and Emily jumped.

"Erasmus! What in the whole merciless world are you freaking doing here!?"

"Well, first you're being filmed-"

Emily spotted a camera. "Hey! You have no permission to film us!" She yelled.

"Again, what in the friggin' hell is going on?" Euler demanded.

All of a sudden, bright lights lit up a TV set. Erasmus had on a spokesman outfit.

"Are fangirls constantly chasing you and your partner? Do you have a love rival you want to beat? Caught in the shipping wars? Then why don't you call Erasmus's Ship Sinking? Erasmus's ship sinking will sink a ship of your choice and eliminate any existence of romance in the ship quicker than you can say "Reformation"!Just for $5.99 you can have any ship sunk permanently, or for $2.99 you can have us sink any ship temporarily* Now, let's hear some satisfied customers' reviews!"

China: I called Erasmus and in a day's time he completely annuled TaiwanxJapan. I admit, he does the job quickly and efficiently. I strongly recommend him.

America: I asked him to wipe out Us/UK because we were being ragged for being incest. It worked! Thank you Erasmus! You're too cool dude!

Jane Pierce: I had him to annihilate Franmily. It succeeded.

"So, what are you waiting for? Buy Erasmus's ship sinking Now! Only $5.99 including a bonus gift of chocolates if you buy two! "

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"Wait!" Shouted Euler", the timeline being messed up!?"

"And did you make me and Franklin split up!?" Emily demanded.

"Dudes, no need to get angry, I was just doing my job-"

Euler took out his gun.

"No! Get the caddodle outta here, Ya boob! Go! "

"Yes!" Emily agreed", Pain is an element of blank and you do NOT want to feel my blank! And stop filming us, camera man!"

She tried to block the lense with her hand as She and Euler tried to push Erasmus and his crew out. In the ensuing struggle, the screen went blank, and there were sounds of angry yelling as the sound died down.

Author's note: support Emler, please! And watch FtG!(frederick the great) It's awesome!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12 Go Eigen or go home

The mochi looked like it was stuck pretty deep. "Don't worry, little buddy, I'll get you out!" Eigenpower assured. She pulled it hard. Unfortunately, it wouldn't budge. The mochi whimpered. It's big blue eyes squeezed shut and its cowlick quivered.

"It's okay! Looks like we're gonna have some fun!" Eigenpower reached into her backpack and pulled out a giant axe.

The mochi squealed and struggled with fear.

"No, no, it's ok, I'm not gonna hurt you," she reassured,"It won't hurt, I promise." The mochi did NOT seem convinced. It closed its eyes continued its whimpering.

"Here we go!" Eigenpower raised he axe and began hacking at the wall. After a minute, she had freed the mochi. It was quite relieved and happy and nuzzled against her.

"Awwww! You're so cute!" She cooed. She picked up the mochi and hugged it.

Suddenly, Amerimochi whimpered. He began shaking hard and his eyes were full of fear.

"Huh? What's wrong?"

Amerimochi seemed to be scared of something behind her. Eigenpower turned her head and oh the horror! Saw a horde of grays advancing upon them.

"Don't worry, I won't let them hurt you," she assured," come on, climb into my backpack."

Amerimochi burrowed into the backpack and stuck his head out.

"Now wait here," She said as she zipped it shut.

Then she turned to face the grays. "All right you mud heads, get ready for the wrath of universal constants!"

_Huh, that sounded less threatening than I thought it would._

She charged towards them and produced a globe of bright yellow energy. "Take this!" Eigenpower launched it towards the grays. And an epic explosion ensued.

Kapow!

The grays seemed unfazed by the attack though, and kept on advancing.

"Uh-oh", said Eigenpower," I don't think universal constants work against them...In that case, Speed of light! Hold on, mochi!"

She turned into a bright flash of golden light and sped over the grays' heads, leaving them in the dust.

Undaunted, the grays were soon in pursuit.

Meanwhile...

" Hyah!" Axum shouted as he lunged forward to strike. The machete handed alien blocked the blow and sliced his spear into two." Hey! Not my spear! That was 100% pure iron!" He groaned.

Maya tried to attack machete hand with her thorny ropes, but these were cut to pieces too, and she ended up with a kick to the stomach. Maya stumbled back and fell down. "Hey! Maya!" Shouted Axum. He went over to check on her.

Maya managed to get up, but she began coughing up blood. "What happened?" He asked.

"Nothing. Just internal gastronomic bleeding." She answered, "I'd worry about yourself If I were you."

And that moment, machete hand's hand came down on them. Axum barely dodged the blow and by the time he realized what was happening, he had a huge gash in his forehead. Blood flowed down his face. However, rather than being scared by the blow, he returned the hit with his dagger, nearly severing machete hand's arm. Machete hand got mad and tried to cut Axum again. Axum blocked with his dagger in one hand and used the other to support Maya. "Hey! Don't pay attention to me! Pay attention to the enemy!" She protested. "Shut up," he replied. He struggled to block machete hand's attack, but finally managed to push it back.

Then, before machete hand could attack again, Axum dragged Maya away from it, just enough for some distance.

"What now?" He asked.

Maya shot him an amused look. "I suggest we attack more and defend less," she replied,"we should use our powas."

"That's reasona- hey wait! How do you know I have powers?"

"Well, I don't have a 205 IQ for nothing."

"True. Now let's do this."

Maya raised her hand. "Kukulha! To me!"

A giant feathered serpent appeared above her head. It had rainbow colored feathers and two enormous wings. And gigantic , sharp teeth.

"Kukulha! You know the routine..."

The serpent nodded and began transforming. It shrank and flattened, turning into a huge fan. The fan was tipped with feathers and had turquoise and obsidian inlaid in it. On the lower part were engraved Mayan glyphs.

Maya held the fan. "Time to blow this fellow away!"

Axum held out his hand. "O lord, give me the strength to purge this servant of Satan!" Suddenly, a large crucifix appeared in his hand. It was silver and engraved with verses from the bible. Its two arms each had a blade at the end. In the middle there was a small , stone cross inlaid.

"Time to exorcise this demon!"

Brandishing his crucifix, he charged towards machete hand, and hit it with a satisfying smack!

Machete hand was thrown back. However, it quickly got up again and charged towards Axum, ready to cut him. Luckily, Maya swept her fan and blew machete hand away. Machete hand was knocked half unconscious.

"Shall we finish him?" Asked Maya.

"Hell yeah!" Answered Axum. He aimed the top of his crucifix at their opponent and a bright orb of light raised her fan and a swirling globe of wind formed at the tip.

Axum's crucifix released a beam of blinding light energy that shot towards machete hand. Maya's fan blasted an air current that also shot towards the enemy. Their attacks combined to form one huge attack that hit machete hand and an epic atomic explosion resulted. Well, maybe not atomic, but you get the idea.

But oh! It wasn't over! After 15 minutes, Axum and Maya heard a terrible rumbling sound, like a stampede! They turned around to see what it was and saw a bright yellow flash of light speeding towards them. The light sped towards them and hit Axum HARD. "Aargh! Holy Jehovah-" he shouted angrily. "What the-" he was tossed back against the wall.

Suddenly, the light began shifting its shape and became a blonde, curly haired girl with glasses and a lab coat. She had bright yellow eyes, which did not make her look human, so she have been a deity or something. "Hi!," she said,"I'm Eigenpower, Time's sister!"

Maya stared at her for a while. "Er... And what exactly are you doing here?" She asked.

"Ah! I came to explore! An adventure!"

"Okay...," Maya turned to Axum, who got up from the fall and mouthed, "She's crazy!"

Axum was a little groggy, still( well wouldn't you be if you were knocked against a wall?) However, he managed to mouth back "I know!"

Suddenly, Eigenpower came behind them and said,"Hey! What are Ya all talking about?"

Maya went all red. "Oh! N-nothing! we were just discussing whether a 20 based number system was more effective or a 10 based one! Of course, a system based on 20 is totally-"

Axum elbowed her.

"Ow!" She hissed.

Ignoring her, Axum turned to Eigenpower. "Er... We heard a noise like a stampede, so do you know-"

"Oh yes!" She chirped back," an army of grays is in pursuit of me and they could be here soon!" Then she frowned. "Oh. Well that's not good. I'll have to get ready." Eigenpower took a ray gun out of her backpack. The mochi squealed and put his head out.

"What's that?" Maya asked.

"Oh! He's a mochi. Have you watched hetalia axis powers before?"

"Er... Yes. And in Americanisms, it sucks! Not enough gore, and it's so racist! I have yet to see a Mesoamerican character yet! Or a Bantu one!"

"Okay... Well Estonia has these pets called mochis-"

Before she could finish explaining, there was a giant rumble again. It shook the walls and the ground.

"Well, here they come,"

Eigenpower said. Her voice was quivering. "Let's run. They're Eldtritch abominations, meaning they defy any of our universal laws. I tried to use my power against them and it didn't work!"

Maya nodded and agreed. "We could always evade them instead of attacking and find a way out without anyone getting killed."

She and Eigenpower began to leave, when she spotted Axum still standing there.

"Axum! Come on!" Maya called.

Axum didn't seem to listen, but he looked back at Maya.

"You go first," he answered," I'll take them on myself."

Maya was stunned. Never in her life did she ever encounter someone as idiotic as he was. Axum, hold them off by himself?!

"Axum! You can't fight all of them. Be reasonable and let's go before someone gets hurt!"She hissed.

Axum didn't look at her. Instead, he focused on the invading grays and put his crucifix away. He then drew out his spear(yes, it magically became fixed)

Maya was perplexed. She shouted," Axum! Don't do this! This is idiotic! You'll get killed before you even get through the first gray! Come over here and let's RUN!"

Axum still didn't obey, but he did turn back and answer," I said you go first! I wrestled lions when I was 20 years old* and these grays are pussies compared to what I went through! I died fighting and I will die again fighting no matter what! So get the $&amp; € h$&amp; l out of here before they come!"

He glared at her and his eyes were smothering. Maya looked back. She could see...his memories...literally( you can see a dead nation's last memories by looking into their eyes.) she saw fire and smoke...and she saw him fighting... He was badly wounded and exhausted, but he still put up a stubborn resistance. His opponent was a mysterious shadow...after a few hours the shadow stabbed him...and Axum fell down...bleeding all over...and a small boy was clinging to his body...crying...

Maya drew back suddenly, shocked by what she saw.

"I left something behind. China said she would help me get it back if I did this for her, but I can't wait anymore. I need to go back." He told her.

"You are absolutely idiotic. There is only half a chance you will go back to the realm of the living. The other possibility is Ret gone. You could disappear from all dimensions and never be heard again." She chided,"besides, if you go back to the living, you will have no memories of the past."

"If I just could see him one more time-"

"You're stupid and stubborn just like those other Westerners!" She cried, but then added," well, I _do_ have to take care of the stupid ones."

She too turned to face the grays. Axum was surprised.

"Why-"

"My people are intelligent, but I had never seen at least one of them face a lone army without pissing their pants. You are, as Americanisms say, badass. I once vowed to die with my heart ripped out, but fighting with you is just as fine."

Axum smiled back.

"Wait," Eigenpower said,"so we're not going to run?"

"Go find the others," Axum told her.

"But it would be quite unfitting for a dimensional God not to intervene."she replied.

"I just want China to know our contract is over."

"Well, if that's your last request, then very well." Eigenpower held out her hand.

"An offering, please. I don't work for free."

Axum handed over the cross he wore around his neck. He dropped it into Eigenpower's hand, and she picked up her bag, tucked mochi in, and sped off in a flash of light.

Minutes later, the gray army arrived. They charged at Maya and Axum.

"Any last words?"Maya asked.

Axum shook his head.

And with that, they charged back.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 Do the Pachacuti!

Inca backed away. Prussia's face turned red and she stumbled towards him, muttering swears and insults. "B-bastard. Turn-turn him back...now..." She fumbled for the trigger of her gun.

Inca had to think fast. The monsters were subdued for now, but if the effect of the beer wore off, he would have four threats to deal with.

He reached for his bola to defend himself in case she attacked. Then, he walked slowly over.

"Shush. Shush. I'm not going to hurt you," he said in his most soothing voice.

Prussia muttered " Fik."and swung her fist at him. Luckily, Inca grabbed it just in time. "Shush." He put his index finger close to her face, and then he drew it away. He did this a few times until she closed her eyes and was out cold.

Prussia opened one eye. Everything was blurry and dark. "What..."

Inca came over. "Quite a lot of trouble you are, Stone face. I had to carry you all the way down here..." He said.

Suddenly, she sprang up.

"Why you bastard!" She yelled.

"What?" He asked.

"You tried to-"

"Wait! Keep it K+. I did not drug you deliberately."

Prussia became quiet, but Inca could see that she still was suspicious.

"Men. How I hate men!" She growled.

"Whoa,little lady, don't be sexist!"

She turned to Inca. "What did you say I was!?"

"It wasn't me." He answered.

"Quite right. It was me." The voice came again.

"It's that bastard!" Prussia shouted and pointed to a figure behind Inca. Inca spun around and saw a figure.

That figure sent him into cold sweat.

A small man as tall as a ten year old stared back at him. He carried a spear and shield.

"Hello Inca." He said.

"Viracocha! How-"

"Who?" Prussia asked.

"Viracocha, the Incan God of the earth," he answered.

"Yes, yes," Viracocha turned to Prussia," God of Earth I am. I helped your friend Inca quite a lot through war-"

"Liar!" Inca growled, " you only helped Pachacuti ONCE. If you're so helpful, then why not save me and my children from Spain!?"

Viracocha kept on talking.

"Yes, and you see, Inca's friend, all the thanks I got was a curse muttered on his deathbed. He sealed me into this house. He sent Steve to guard it. He sent Steve to kill your little group. Oh, look, now it looks like one of the nations has died... Oh dear...was his name Axum? I am correct, no?"

Prussia grasped her musket. She did not like him.

"Oh dear, oh dear, it seems that Inca has gotten you into quite some trouble. It seems that Inca-"

"Stop it." Inca snapped.

"-has led to all your deaths."

Viracocha smiled. "Of course, you will not all die at the hands of Steve."

He raised his hands towards the ceiling and the ground under Inca and Prussia began moving.

"You two will die at the hands of me!"

"Watch out!" Inca shouted. However, it was too late. Two rock cages already had formed around them.

"Muhahahaha!"Viracocha crowed," now, for my revenge..." Smiling madly, he used his Earth powers to lift up two boulders.

"Any last words?"

"I will go iron on your butt if you don't let me out!" Prussia yelled.

Inca was quiet. "Don't waste your voice," he told her.

"Defiant to the end eh? Well good bye then."

Viracocha then launched the boulders.

End of part 1.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Argh! It's not deep enough..."

"Stop! Don't plunge it in any deeper or else it's gonna hurt."

"Hush, woman, I'm the man here, and I can plunge it in deeper if I want to!"

"Don'tBe sexist! You dare plunge that thing of yours,and I'm gonna have to force it out!"

"Woah, woah, woah!" A young girl wearing an ottoman cosplay appeared in front of them. Her black hair was messy and her wire-rimmed glasses cracked. "This is a PG rated fanfic." She said.

China and Arabia looked at her annoyingly.

"We were just trying to fix Arabia's injury, author. WTF did you think we were doing!?" China inquired.

"Author not modest enough. If you continue, I shall force you into a burka." Arabia scolded.

"Well you can't do that because I'm an Ottoman Turk now and in Ottoman society, girls rule!" Author replied and disappeared into a puff of smoke, but not before making a face at the disgruntled Arab.

"...well, let's get back to work." China said as she examined the wound more carefully. "If you get tired, I can do the surgery instead."

"Ah, it's okay, China hakim, I can handle it," he replied assuredly.

He then carefully began sewing the wound up. "China hakim, tell me more about the Hetalia anomaly."

China suddenly jerked back, shocked. "H-how did you know about the Hetalia anomaly? Time never told that to anyone except me." She stammered.

Arabia sighed a deep sigh.

"It was at the height of Abbasid empire," he explained,"the height of my mathematical and scientific knowledge. At the time, the common fields of geometry and algebra had disinterested me. I was bored. I craved mental stimulation. So it was one day that I took on a study so complex and challenging that even scientists today are still puzzled by it; I took on the study of time and space."

"Hour after hour I indulged in textbook after textbook, experiment after experiment, essay after essay. I studied from the rise of the dawn to the deep blackness of night. I dived into the matter until my eyes had black circles and I had lost twelve pounds from meditation. All this, however, paid off when one day, goddess Time came and gave me a reward. She allowed me to borrow the chronicle of time, a recording of all events in the multiverse, for a week. I was thrilled. That week was a reading marathon. I read and read and read nonstop ,content and satisfied, until I came across one subject: the Hetalia anomaly."

"It was a title. Just a title. There was no text to accompany it. It was a single fragment, floating in a blank page. Now I was very puzzled, and when Time came to retrieve the book, I asked her about the Hetalia anomaly. However, no matter how hard I begged or pleaded, she wouldn't tell me anything."

He looked at China hopefully.

"I thought that, since you are in association with time, you would know about the Hetalia anomaly."

China breathed in deeply and sighed.

"Okay, I will tell you, but mind you, this information is highly confidential. If you are prepare to tell anyone, I will have to kill you ."She said.

"I promise I will keep this secret. If I don't, you may kill me on the spot then," Arabia replied.

"Right then, so here goes. It was three or five years ago that a strange anomaly happened in the Hetalia universe. Now the Hetalia universe is an alternate dimension where there are nations like us. However, Hetalians, unlike us, are beautiful and unflawed in appearance. They live in an idealistic world where nobody actually gets hurt and the most serious injuries are coughing blood. Now, foolish and brave nations they were, in fact so foolish that they decided that one day they would enter this very mansion. And-"

" And what?"

"And they were all mercilessly slaughtered by none other than Steve. One of them, Italy I believe, found a journal that could take him back into the past to save everyone,causing an unusual time loop or anomaly. However, again and agin they all failed, and the Hetalia timeline, due to the loss of the major world powers, remains in chaos to this very day and is heading downhill. The reason this incident is so secretive, is that Time actually sent zaetsgeschlagers to keep this from happening again and again. However, shockingly, they couldn't access the mansion's inside because Steve did not conform to our laws of time and space and could bend the mansion's dimensions to his will. Shamed by her failure to intervene, Time had no choice but to destroy all records of Steve from the chronicle of Time to keep anyone from entering the mansion and getting killed. This incident was kept confidential because Time was ashamed she could not stop such a tragedy and kept it to herself to avoid emberassment."

" That's a terrible story China-Hakim, the one about the Hetalia anomaly. How dreadful." Then Arabia froze up. "You don't think the others have been killed, have you?" He asked.

"My theory would have been no, of course. We do not live in an idealistic , cutesy world like they did. Maya is unstoppable when in mass slaughter mode, Inca is a tactical genius and can tolerate very low oxygen levels, Axum can run like Eusain Bolt due to his genes, and Prussia is hardened due to her years of being bullied, impoverished, and physically abused. As for you, you are a mastermind of the sciences and maths, and I am a cunning fox with numerous tricks up her sleeve. Alabo, we are not going to die. Trust me. We had to be tough to live in our world of corruption, warfare, and oppression. We will make it out alive. We are not pussies."

poof! a yellow cloud of smoke suddenly filled the room.

" China! Axum broke his deal with you!" Eigenpower yelled

"WHAT!?' China was fuming. "That wangbadan ran away from the battlefield!"

"No,China! Axum- Axum and Maya are dead!"


End file.
